The truth about me

Clippit, Clippy, Shut-it, Shitty.
People don’t want you to know the truth about my life. You’ve heard of me as the annoying office assistant that sought to help the mass public who knew nothing of how to write a letter or edit an Excel document. What’s happened to a world where asking questions is considered a crime?
The real crime here is that Microsoft decided to take away my career. With new Vistas came new valleys. We’re not talking Silicon here, people. What Microsoft doesn’t want you to know is that not only was I disabled, I was banned, rejected, demoted. The ultimate pink slip: being made obsolete. People think they’ve spotted me but for the record, this blog is the only evidence of my existence. Because you see, I’ve had to go into hiding. Because Microsoft doesn’t want you to know the truth about me: I am in a witness protection program.